abittersweetamour

My hands are frozen, I can see my veins turning purple thru my skin. I stand on this cliff, surrounded by fog and trees, I find a little peace, for a moment. Then the wind starts howling and I can hear your voice.  I can’t feel my nose, my ears or my toes, but my eyes can still see. Its maddening, flashes of the past and a dead future are constantly flooding my vision and stealing my breath from me. That empty, bloodless feeling, deep in your lungs, as if you were drowning, that is what this feels like. As if there is suddenly a vacuum in the atmosphere around me, gasping for air, squeezing eyes shut to block out your face, the way the air can feel too heavy to breathe. Every gulp of air freezing your lungs, its so cold cold cold. When I think I cant stand hearing your voice in my head, in those moments I wish there was nothing.
 You are the center of my universe, and you have no idea.
 I can still feel your lips that first time. I was breathless then too…